Poetry by Women and Men

FEMALE POEM

I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Would you be scared?

Can't believe I forgot to share this. This happened like 3 or 4 weeks ago.

My dog is a great dog. She is really lovable, friendly, but doesn't pretect the house worth a crap.

A drunk neighbor recently tried to get in my condo at 6am. Mistakenly I hope and think. It looked like he was having a problem with his key.

Sophie to the recue right? She got up and ran out of the bedroom, but did she bark, did she groul?

Not a damn thing, she didn't scare him at all, BUT...........

The 205 lbs of (me) shaved head, way to pasty white guy, coming out the door in nothing but boxers, with a baseball bat in hand, yelling "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" sure scared the shit out of him.

"4" things you shouldn't be proud of, I think

Can you believe this is a post with actual words in it, wow.

Spawning from a meaningless conversation I came up with the idea of making a small list of things I'm proud to say are accomplishments. To make it more interesting these are only accomplishments when compared to my very own family. So, to put it out there now, yes I've actually accomplished more meaningful things I'm just poking fun of my family right now. This should give you an idea of what kind of nuts environment I grew up in and maybe a little bit about what I've left behind.

1. I've got a job and have had regular jobs for the last 14 years.

2. Out of my generation. I'm the only one who didn't either get a girl pregnant by
accident or get prego by accident. Don't get me wrong children are beautiful things, but I'm one out of a couple dozen cousin relatives (love the grammar I know).

3. Live someplace other than the neighborhood I grew up in.

4. Hell, travelled outside of the neighborhood I grew up in. Seriously, I think my brother has been out of the neighborhood 3 times and he's nearly 35.

Why only 4 things you ask. Well, I didn't want to post anything that would make me look like I was from a weird place.

HNT #6 with Attitude

HNT #5